BLACKOUT

Far from the idea of anything, am I really interested in all of this? Why do I keep losing myself in the process of loving someone else? Each time, I find my soul screaming at me. She wants me to hold my own hand once in a while and tell myself that I am the one that is worthy of fighting. I cannot shut doors. I can never shut the doors that are meant to be shut. Instead, I wait for someone else to shut the door and leave me on the other side of it so that I can breathe without the burden of shutting the door myself. I keep losing my own light in the process of shedding light on people who do not deserve any piece of it. I feel like anyone else would have given up already. But I keep trying. Maybe it is time I stopped trying and just accepted my melodrama.

You cause a blackout

In your soul because

You insist on shedding

A light on people who

Do not value the deed.

It is important that you know you do not have to stay where it feels forced. You cannot expect others to shed a light on you. First, perhaps they do not even have enough light for themselves. Second, their external light cannot illuminate your soul. Third and last, you do not need anyone else’s light. Your own darkness is always brighter than someone else’s forced match.